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Tuesday, 31 October 2017

My business ideas


This post is purely for entertainment purpose. To be read when you are taking a dump and when you run out of stuff to read. 



I've always wanted to start a business of my own and i'm sure many of you do as well.

The trouble is finding a idea good enough and unique.


Something that no one is doing in the market right now.

Something that has a pent up demand.


Something that would benefit the society.


Something that would provide employment and solve a lot of social issues.



Viola.

I have just the idea.


In fact, i had tabled the proposal with 2 of my inner split personality. Devil James and Angel James.


I'm sure you guys would want to invest in this because i guarantee you, confirm plus chop.


It's a money making venture.


*rubs hand in glee with evil smile*



Hold on to your money purse for now. I think it would be better i i could get the authorities's sign off on this before i start looking for investors.




Upskirt container park



Container parks are all the rage these days. Who would have thought of using shipping containers for anything other than shipping ? 


Now you have food centres, chic retail parks, even offices modeled out of these containers. 


My idea is simple. 


A football field size plot of land. Containers will be spread out to form a linked retail corridor. Maximum height would be 2 levels high. 


Inside the containers, retail space would be subdivided out and rented at cheap, below market prices. 

This is to help all budding entrepreneurs. 



No point getting your capital drained by high rental before your business takes off right ? 


Now the catch to getting a good rent would be the tenant being a female. 


All staff/tenant are restricted to females only. They have to be young and attractive, and they will wear only short skirts and dresses to their shop. 



Customers on the other hand are restricted to only men. 


Upon entering, they will be issued with a phone where they can take all the upskirts and perverted pictures of the attractive girls in the mall. 

This will be done with the staff's knowledge of course, this will be part of the rental agreement with the tenant.



No one is forced to work in the USM ( Upskirt mall ) , you are there on your own free will.


The girls, well aware that there will be men taking upskirts of them, will of course choose a nice underwear.

I'm thinking of selling ad spaces in these underwear. Imagine top companies bidding for ad space on the underside of your underwear!


Now, if other females who is in need of some quick cash, they can pop by for a couple of hours and just walk around the mall. Enjoy the aircon, grab a bubble tea.

Just treat the rest of the guys as invisible. Do your own stuff, wear a shirt skirt, have a coffee. Chat with friends. You don't need to do it full time, you can be a private contractor in a way, work as and when you want and when you feel like it.



Photos taken will be uploaded into a secure cloud server for the client to access and appreciate.



This solves several problems at once.


Anyone who needs to get their upskirt photo taking fix can head to USM. Pay a entrance fee, enter a secure and safe place where they can indulge in their fetish in a controlled environment.

I will organise competitions, whereby the most discreet guy wins.


Don't worry about security, i will station trained female MMA artist within the mall as security staff. USM adopts a strict no touching rule and anyone violating the rule will have their membership revoked and banned.

Rule breakers will need to attend a private therapy session with 5 female MMA artist during their PMS days.

By adopting this solution, I'm providing employment for a lot of girls who likes their avocado toast, branded bags and the high life without actually striving for them.



I foresee a reduction in outrage of modesty crimes in our public transport, and if i can site this USM near to the red light district, this will indirectly complement each other.



Isn't this an amazing idea ?



Reduce crime.
Provide enployment
Encourages entrepreneurship



............................................


Angel James : This is wrong. Morally unacceptable. .... i'm ashamed of you James for thinking of something like this. How could you ??


Devil James : FUck you understand. ?? ....  you have a willing upskirt model , who gets paid for allowing you to take a picture of her underwear, what the fuck is wrong with that ?


Angel James : But... but....


Devil James : This business pairs the needs of 2 individuals together and multiply it in a grand scale. Think private hire vehicles and passengers..... isn't this the same ? .... James.. you should come up with an app call 'UP'. It pairs girls who would like to have their upskirt taken, with guys who would like to take their upskirts.

If there is strong demand, you can have surge pricing. I'll invest in this....


Angel James : This is wrong.... how can you....


Devil James : This is wrong ?? ... tell me which part is wrong ?? .... What laws are you breaking here ? A private arrangement between 2 adults in a private space that promotes entrepreneurship .... you should write to Spring Singapore for funding.... patent this idea... and spread it all over the world. Think of all the space in jail you can free up..... all the taxpayers money you can save.... WHo knows, you might even reduce the number of people taking upskirts on the streets !! ???


Angel James : How would this reduce the number of people taking upskirts ?? don't be ridiculous !


Devil James : Well... they might realise that the thrill passes after a while and there is really no fun to do something like that. Perhaps they might just decide to walk up, befriend the girl, eventually ending up together and make babies to repopulate this country.



Angel James : Don't listen to him James.... it's illegal to take photos of women in their underwear.....!!



James : errrr...... So.... in a Victora secret fashion show....everyone is breaking the law on live TV ??


Angel James : I mean it's wrong to take without their consent.. !!


Devil James : AH HAAA..... but.... USM is done with all the girl's consent..... all are consenting adults



**Awkward silence of 45 seconds**


Angel James : Pitch the idea...... if it's approved.... i'll take a 10% stake in it..... but only for medical research and rehabilitation purposes....i believe we can address the root of the problem if we can study this in a controlled environment.


James : errrrrrrrrr...................



Rage bicycle warehouse 



This is even simpler. I got this idea from a blog visitor.


A large warehouse with internal mock ups of HDB flats , fake waterways and other structures of interest. 


People will pay a fee, come into the warehouse and buy a bicycle. 



They can throw it into the water, throw is down a HDB mockup , smash it, basically anything they want. They can even pretend to ride around and park it all over the place without causing inconvenience to other users.


Staff will be on site to help take those silly instagram pictures and videos so they can upload how the abuse the bicycles onto the net for others to comment.


The warehouse doubles up as a recycling plant. All trashed parts will be recycled. !






Angel James : This is such a wasteful activity..... it doesn't make sense to do a business like this...all the bicycles can be put to good use....


Devil James : Fuck you la.... this is a recycling business..... the customers are helping to break down the bicycles into smaller parts prior to recycling..... but James.... this idea is more capital intensive than the USM..... do the USM first....


Angel James : i suggest you convert the warehouse to a rehabilitation facility.... help people manage their anger and stress from city living. ..... People get angry easily these days....


Devil James : Facility ? rehab facility ? ..... siao bo ?? .... you are treating the symptoms... we should aim to eradicate the cause .... rehab doesn't work.... i rather you build a real facility base on TFIWA you wrote..... this will provide employment and solve population issues.....



James : orh....





Floating brothel 



One of the oldest trade known to men.

Pop into URA and have a look at the masterplan.


It's not hard to figure out that the red light district's days are numbered. There have been talks and rumors about eventually shifting the district away from Geylang. The current brothels are sitting on prime land by the city fringes.


The authorities are caught between a rock and a hard place for this. If they decides to shut down the red light district totally, you would risk driving it underground, making it harder to manage.


So how ?


My idea is to convert a cruise ship into a floating island of debauchery, minus the drugs of course.



Floating casinos operate in international waters freely, so why has no one thought of making a floating brothel ?



Sail off on a relaxing cruise with unlimited buffets and sex. Ship pays tax, docking fees, everything is regulated. You free up the land for development, residents don't complain that street walkers are loitering at their void decks.


Solves a lot of problems.




Devil James : This is an interesting idea. If a cruise takes 3000 passengers. You will be unloading 3000 horny males from the island. They can get their fix on the cruise, do some yoga, clear their testicles  mind, and come back feeling refreshed and rejuvenated as a responsible member of the society.


Angel James : This doesn't solve the problem .... what about those people who don't want to travel ?? ... they just needed a quick fix ?? .... not everyone can spare a few days for a cruise....


Devil James : HORRRR!!!!! you tiko pek !!.... you are the quick fix kind... !!!


Angel James : No.!! No!! No!!.... i don't mean me... i mean there's bound to be people...


Devil James : HORRRRRRRR!!!!... you dirty old man you.... HoooorRRRRR!!!


Angel James : Fuck you la...


Devil James : The Angel is against the idea of shifting everything off shore....



James : Errr..... orh....




..............................................................................


So.... errr.... any investors ??? ...






This post is purely for entertainment purpose. To be read when you are taking a dump and when you run out of stuff to read. 















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