Monday, 11 November 2019

Welcome page

This is a welcome landing page.

Navigate to every piece i did from here. Most of these are free to read, some have optional chapters that do not affect the main story line if you choose not to get them.

I've also included a short summary of each piece so you know what you are diving into.

NOTE : All the stories are erotic and sexual in nature set in local Singapore context. Please do not read them if you are uncomfortable with graphic sex scenes, forced non-consensual sex and sensitive sexual topics.

There are no suitable stories here for you if you cannot differentiate reality from erotic fantasy. Do head over to FAQ if you are still confused.

If this is the first time on this blog looking for a good erotic action story set in Singapore,
check out  ' The beast within' and ' Big trouble in little india'

** Do not buy any of my paid works, until you have finish all the free to read ones.**


Blog update frequency category 

NA - Check back in 2 weeks
Low - Check back in 1 week
Regular - Updates every 2-3 days

Current blog update status :  Low


For blog updates and new posts, please scroll to the 2nd post and more

Coming soon 

The house in Bukit Timah

Ongoing updates : 

Latest five completed work : 

The lottery effect
Cockteasing gone wrong 
My boss is an influencer 
The prison warden

Follow facebook page  ( Only if you want everyone to know what you are reading )

Dual platform listing. Choose to purchase from either gumroad or webstore. 

The beast within  (free to read)

For Jim and his friends whose work is a constant struggle between what is right and what is financially viable for the company, every project comes with it's fair share of adventure and dilemma.

It's never an easy choice.

Still, the money is good, life is comfortable.

However, when a disaster strikes one of the safest city in the world, it brought the country to it's knees.

And when it dawn on Jim and his friends that one of the culprit is someone they have been dealing with, the choice is clear.

We may be a small country, but if size matters, an elephant would be the king of the beast.

Big trouble in little india (free to read)

Jeff is one of the best black ops operator in the country, or so he thinks.

Considered a prequel to 'the beast within' , this story explores a shady underground network of killers that exists in Singapore that the public have no knowledge about.

Jeff thinks he kills people for the greater good, and with each kill, he is helping the country get rid of undesirable characters. He has never doubted the orders his superior gave until one day, he was sent along with 4 others to get rid of a pregnant woman.

A pregnant lady is far from his usual targets of criminals, drug lords and organ smuggling agents, but one thing troubled him most.

All operators work alone.

What kind of prey, justifies sending so many predators like him ?

My good friend's Marriage (MGFM) & Europe trip (free to read)

Your hot colleague from work is not only your crush, she is also the bride to be of your good friend. Follow the lead through a series of events,twists,lies and deception that led to him sleeping with his good friend's bride.

My adventure as a hawker (free to read)

Jude gave up his cushy job in the civil service to become a hawker selling noodles at his parent's stall. He sees a girl he likes working at the drinks stall, not knowing about her connection to the local triads and the wild ride that he would be getting on.

**this piece has optional works**

The facility i work at (free to read)

Jake started working at a biomedical facility as a facility manager. He could never imagine the atrocities that were happening at the facility. It's a horror if you are a woman, but if you are a man, it's a different story altogether. Rows of women chained together and milked against their will, forced impregnation, plenty of  twisted sex scenes and of course, the facility's very own hunger games.

This will give you nightmares, or a very wet dream.

**this piece has optional works**

My love from the star vista (free to read)

James took on a job offer working for a peculiar and weird family, gets embroiled in their family feud. Sex, lies, plenty of twists from each of the characters, but in the end, who do you believe ?

**this piece has optional works**

A pinch of salt 

That bitchy and hot sister in law that always seemed to pick on you. What do you do ? You fuck her of course.

My bet with my colleague (free to read)

A light hearted read about saving a girl from her abusive boyfriend. Fun, funny with a bit of sexual scenes.

My neighbour (free to read)

James moved into a new place and keeps bumping into this stuck up neighbor. Inspired by a real story, follow James as he slowly melt his way into the neighbour's heart and gets rewarded in the end with a staged raped scene. Woman do anything for love.

My brother and sister in law (free to read)

What do you do when you see your brother in law hit your sister in law ? You position youself to benefit from the aftermath of course. Wouldn't you ?

My adventure in the office  (free to read)

The length people would go to to keep their jobs in this difficult economic climate ...... we do what we must.

**this piece has optional works**

Fifteen  (free to read)

An adventure spanning 15 years in the making. Join James as he grows up from a horny teenager to a scheming young man with the ultimate aim of bedding his childhood crush. He would do anything, including cheating his girlfriend to sleep with another man.


Internship in horrible office

Making money is never easy, more so as an intern.
Imagine playing games beyond your wildest wet dreams, powering go carts with your thrust into your colleagues' privates and hunting unwilling colleagues down before forcing yourself on them.

All in the name of making money.

**this piece has optional works**

The prison warden

50 years from now, Singapore is a very different place. 
Coney Island has been transformed into a corporation managed prison facility. 

Female . Prison . Facility . 

**this piece has optional works**

Wife sharing / swinging / cuckold genre / partner sharing. ( Not for the faint hearted )

The longest 4 days of my life

Wife forced to clear her father's gambling debts. If you can't pay with money, you pay with your body.

My wife's dark fantasy

Stella and i are about to try and start a family. Just before we do, we decided to embark on a little adventure to fulfill our dark fantasies. If you ever imagined your wife being a social escort, gangbanged by construction workers, and being used like a whore by strangers, this is for you. 

Cheating wife from elite school gangbanged by construction workers

Well, the title says it all

Singapore is a multi racial society and my best friend is a Indian. All is good but there's just a small problem. My girlfriend doesn't like him for the colour of his skin. 

I want to make her like him, because there is nothing sexier than seeing her smooth pale body being pinned under the dark body of my best friend. 

How should you celebrate your wife to be's big night ? How about some mind blowing orgasms delivered by other men ? 

It's your ultimate fantasy. Admit it.
You can't force her to do it, but you can engineer each step along the way to lead her down a path of no return.

PS : I take no responsibility should you decide to employ the same plans for your own wife

*Check out the post on how to change the names of the lead characters to you and your wife's name.*

Wife creampie by stranger

A different approach to story telling.
Video based.

Expect visuals & audio.

Graphics taken from popular online sources, all masking and mosaic done by original content owner.
I only wrote the story.

Sushi on my wife's body 

So.... the freelance model that you hired for a body sushi dinner failed to turn up.

It's a important deal for the company that you and your wife set up.

At that point in time, you cannot decide which is worst.

Having to cancel the dinner with some of your most important clients, or to let your wife take the place of the model .

My wife secretly became a social escort  (MWSBASE)

What if your wife decides to do something behind your back ?

What if the only way to find out what it is, is to read it online after it has been done ?

James realised his wife Shirley secretly started taking clients online via a popular sex forum. This is a betrayal that comes with graphic details. From wasapp messages to the detailed review given by clients after they fucked his wife.

Afraid and unsure of what to do, James could only follow and slowly uncover how his wife is slowly being turned into a slut by reading the reviews and the photoshoot albums done by clients.

Imagine having to face your wife everyday after work knowing what she does behind your back. Imagine being able to read what was done to her without her knowledge.

How far would she go as she seeks not money but self validation ? Pictures ? Photoshoots ? Reviews ?


Wive will not show their husband their true inner slut. They will only show it to someone they don't know, and hopefully never meet again.......

Or at least if she thinks they will never meet again.......

My wife first overseas trip  ( follow up adventure to MWSBASE )

Shirley's overseas work trip with her boss.
Just a work trip.


Shirley's dirty fuck  (follow up adventure to MWSBASE  )

Wife, sports attire , dirty mattress , jungle floor , foreign worker.

That should sum it up.

Do you really want to know what happened on your wife's hen's night party ?

My wife is my job security

What do you do when you realised an inconvenient truth ?

That your wife is the only reason you get to keep your job.
To make things worse, you are made to choose and to sit through a step by step presentation of what your wife did.


This piece offers some choices for the reader. You can decide which presentation you want to sit through and open the respective file to finish the 2nd half of the story.
There are multiple paths, but they all lead to the same ending.

Knowing that your wife's body is the reason you made it through the financial crisis

My wife's vacation with her ex-boyfriend

You wife's ex appeared out of nowhere with news of terminal illness.
If not for his abrupt departure, you would never have ended up with such a perfect woman.

Can you really bring yourself to say no to this ?

The lottery effect

Everyone wants a shot at applying for a subsidized flat that is going to be worth a million in the future. The thing is, applying for such flats, comes with it's own terms and conditions.

Start a family and the flat is yours to keep.

If you don't, or in the case of James, he can't, well, the government is always there to help.

If you can't fertilise your wife's eggs, someone else will do it for you.

Non consensual encounters , humiliations . 

Nobody wants to use the 'R' word but admit it. It turns you on. You are a law abiding adult who can think rationally most of the time. Something like this can never happen in real life. 

Step into the shoes of the character and live the moment in your head.

Volume 1 & Volume 2 - Revenge on my friend's sister

Your friend's sister did something horrible to you many years ago. 
Today, she works for you. 

Do i need to go on ? 

Sister in law's photoshoot

So.... your sister in law wants to be a model / social media influencer.
As her favorite brother in law, you must do your best to help her right ? 

Neon pink sports bra, bright running shoes, FBT shorts and that repetitive gasp of air. Running in the dead of the night in that attire, she's obviously asking for trouble. 

The student next door

Sleazy taxi uncle harbors dirty thoughts about his neighbor . Tight convent school pinafore, sweaty netball attires and she was unlucky enough to be caught smoking. 

Underage smokers should be punished. No?

As a responsible tuition teacher, i have to make sure the money of parents are well spent. So a grave offence such as skipping class should be dealt with. 

I have to make sure the student doesn't skip class again. 

Natalie has her own tumblr blog where she shares intimate photos of her body, without her face of course. What would you do if you accidentally stumble upon her real identity ? 

The bride. You know you are thinking of doing it but it's your brother's big day. It's his day or if you are lucky, it could be your day too.

Forcing myself on my colleague 

I'm fat, ugly and disgusting. The one colleague you would want to avoid at work, but i share a cubicle with the prettiest chick around. Seeing how pretty she is stirred up emotions that i find it hard to suppress.

I didn't want to do it, but i could not help myself

Humiliated by my girlfriend and her friends

If being humiliated is your cup of tea, this read is for you. Eating bread smoosh by high heels, forced to shave, forced to cross dress, having your privates teased, drinking spit of hot and pretty girls to quench your thirst.

Playing with my friend's bride to be

So.... your friend is getting married soon...... but her bride to be needs money

You need a more detailed explanation for this situation ?

My Devious plan to impregnate my sister in law

Don't lie to yourself. How many times have you thought about this as well ?

Join James as he set up an elaborate con, drawing his sister in law in with interpretation of her
Bazi ( 8 characters) and elements.

Anchor that analysis to facts and science of the human reproductive system, what kind of recipe would James come up with ?

One that would get him his sister in law of course.

A different perspective 

This piece was inspired by one I read from Melissa who blogs at roughorders.blogspot.

She wrote the original piece from the girl’s perspective and I did one from the guy’s point of

Did this in late July when I was corresponding with her, and yes, she has read it too.

The original piece she wrote is here

All credits for the story line goes to Melissa.

Offenders are usually jailed and fined for committing an act of this nature. 
What if the system came up with a better solution to make sure it won't happen again ? 
Why jail, when you can rehabilitate ? 

The treatment though.......... can be a paradise for some...... hell for others.... 

Destroying my sister in law's reputation 

In this digital age, James finds out how easy it is to tarnish and stain someone's reputation. 
That someone is his sister in law. 

James want to pain his sister in law Mandy as a slut. He wanted the online community in the sex forum to label her as one. 

Join him as he slowly breaks his sister in law down with the ultimate aim of bedding her.

Enough of the blindfolds, no more bondage. Do away with the bait and switch. 

James wants to do it while he looks at Mandy in her eyes. He wants to see her morals erode away, knowing full well what she was doing. Her mind screams no, her body thinks otherwise. 

A hot sister in law sobbing in your lap , fearful of the consequence yet unable to control herself. 
What can get more arousing that this ? 

Drinking with my stepsister

Sometimes.... a little bit can go a long way... 

Training ground

What if you see something you shouldn't have ? Would you position yourself to do something you shouldn't do to a hot colleague of yours ? 

All good, obedient, law abiding citizens shall be rewarded and taken care off by the government. 

You must understand that everything the government do, it's for your own good. 

With declining birthrates in Singapore, the law has been passed that all women must serve. 
All citizens are equal, regardless of race, language and religion. 

All women must serve. 

Feeling utterly oppressed by his boss, James did the unthinkable.
What better way to get back at your boss that to show her who she really is ? 

Video based story telling 

Wife creampie by stranger 

Hypnotise my neighbour

Shots (Shorts)

A new category of short works designed to titillate your senses. Might leave a bitter aftertaste in your tongue if you are not used to the strong double espresso in the morning.

Check page menu on right side of blog for 'Shots' section & preview

The shortcut  

There's a reason why you should not take a shortcut through a neighbourhood you are not familiar with.

Do you have a panty fetish like me ?

Drunk friends

You are responsible for sending your drink friends back after a night out. 
He's drunk. His girlfriend is drunk. 

Don't you think you should get your pound of flesh for the effort ? 


Paid works

There is a list of paid works with free previews on the tab at the right of the blog page. 

Feel free to read through and see if it interests you. Genre ranges from non-consensual intercourse to humiliation and wife sharing. 

Kindly avoid it if your heart cannot take it. 


Alright, these are some of the works i've done. Take your time to go through them. 

You should be comfortable enough to navigate the blog and find other hidden gems after you are done reading all these. 

Will update this page whenever i have time. 


Sunday, 10 November 2019

The lottery effect

This is a work of fiction

How much risk would you take, to be able to own a flat at one of the most coveted spot in the country ?


It’s every Singaporean’s dream to own a million-dollar public housing.
My wife Tricia and I are no different.

It’s common sense. Buying a subsidised flat from the government at a low price, stay in it for a few years and flip it for a profit up to almost half a million or more at tax payers expense.

However such flats are far from plenty.

Getting your hands on one is as good as striking lottery.

When Tricia and I saw the new plot of flats available for balloting at the new southern island, we knew we have to try for one.

It’s a huge piece of reclaimed land stretching outwards just beside one of our most famous tourist attraction, Sentosa.

Located right at the tip of that new land, is a plot of coveted public housing site that the government has put up for new couples and families to apply for.

Now, Tricia and I were still dating when the application came out but we were thinking it’s going to take another 4-5 years to build. By then, I’m pretty sure we’re well into our working career and ready for marriage, not to mention starting a family.

So we threw our bid in and see if we would strike the lottery.

To give this development some context, just a few kilometres to it’s right, it’s the place where billionaires pay tens of millions for a house at the tip of Sentosa Cove.

The people who are going to stay here is going to get that same view, much more amenities, public transport, schools, childcare, everything thing under the sun at a subsidised rate.

The 4 room flat Tricia and I are going for cost 600 thousand after subsidies. It’s a lot of money but a similar place in a private development would cost you close to 3 million.

Earlier developments further inland on the same reclaimed land are already fetching 1.5 to 1.7 Million on the resale market.

These are public housing we’re talking about, those folks got it for less than 500 thousand.

So I can already imagine Tricia and I getting a flat for 600, and selling it for 1.7 at least in a few years.

We’ll be millionaires overnight.

Needless to say, the amount of competition for the flats will be massive. Everyone will want a shot at this.

The lottery effect is too tempting to ignore.

It may be 99 years lease but imagine staying at a place like this, en route to become a millionaire and still getting utilities rebates, GST vouchers, estates upgrading, all the frills that comes with public housing.

Of course, priorities will be given to young couples like us.

I mean, the government want more families, more babies, so first timers like Tricia and I, we get additional chance at the ballot.

1 more chance than others.

I remember sitting beside Tricia at the computer when we were filling out the application.

The usual details, income levels, declarations and the what nots and we finally came to the last page.

The last section.

The last paragraph in fine print with a small checkbox.

A small checkbox that has huge implication over the results of the ballot should you choose to check it.

Now, that check box, binds you to an agreement with the government.

It says that upon moving in to your new place, you need to start a family within a year.

That is the agreement.

All is good if you start a family before that, but the latest, and I mean the latest the government is going to give you, is 365 days after key collection to be certified pregnant.

Tricia : should we check it… ?

James : I… I don’t know… it increases our chances greatly. … and the cost savings….

Tricia : I don’t know…. Is it too big a risk to take ?

James ; But we know we want kids for sure right….

Tricia : of course… we agreed on 2 remember…. ?

James : I… I’m not sure.. the pressure is huge….

Tricia : it’s….i don’t know either…. The money we can save… and…. Getting additional chances…..

We deliberated for almost 30 mintues before Tricia checked that box.

It’s not just a simple tick.

Checking that box brings up additional declaration that both parties have to electronically sign and adhere strictly too. Failure which, the flat will be repossessed and all subsidies will be recovered from you.

With the amount of money involved, we will be bankrupt.

We signed it eventually, and we got ourselves bind to the agreement.

Our balloting chances went up 10 times, giving us 20 shots at getting a favourable queue number.

It worked.

We were the first 50 in line to select a flat at that coveted spot for public housing.

Tricia and I picked out a unit on the 45th floor, just 3 stories before the roof.

It would have cost us almost 650 thousand but that magical check box worked it’s magic.

It brought the price down to 200 thousand.

We were thrilled and over the moon.

We won the lottery.

We’re literally set for life if we stay there for a few years, start a family, let the kids grow up a littler before selling the place and moving inland to a cheaper location.

The profit would be our retirement and travelling fund.

Time flew by and before we realised it, the flat was almost ready.

Tricia and I were married and at 27, we started trying for a kid.

You see, we received notification that the flat will be ready for us in 6 months.

I figured we start trying, my wife would be pregnant and the flat would be ready for us to welcome a new addition to the family.

We tried.

We really tried.

Upon collecting our keys to our flat, I was starting to feel a little nervous.

It’s not that easy.

I was shaking a little when I took the keys and opened the door to our new place.

It’s beautiful, fully furnished and ready for move in after a bit of light cleaning.

Tricia and I moved in 2 months later, and we kept trying.

We kept trying, and trying, but still, nothing.

We went to a doctor and realised that, my sperms, were of pretty low quality. I could fix it easily with a proper diet and some supplements and that’s that we did.

By the 9th month, I was starting to feel the pressure.

The stress and anxiety made it impossible to get in the mood for sex. My wife is pretty, Tricia is hot and sweet. She has a lot of suitors and even though she’s married, she still gets the occasional proposition from overseas colleagues when they are in town.

By the 11th month, Tricia and I were quarrelling over this.

It’s stressful for the both of us but we managed to work it out and we kept trying.

When her menses came on the 12th month, she sank down on the floor and cried.

I too sat down on the floor of my million dollar flat as I looked at the setting sun outside my flat. A priceless unblocked view of the blue sea.

You see, the checkbox had clauses.

Other clauses other than taking your flat back from you.

It is not the intention of the government to make you homeless.

They just want more babies.

And the agreement clearly states that, if you are not capable of getting pregnant on your own, you’re going to get help.


In simple terms, if your husband is not fertilising your eggs, the government is going to find someone else who can.

And it’s a open secret that the government has very low risk appetite.

When they send in the help, they don’t send just one.

I dropped the drink can in my hand as I looked at Tricia wiped up her tears as she went about doing the laundry.

My cock started getting harder. I was getting an erection.

It was a strange feeling.

I know the inevitable.

And I know because I’m the husband, I get the option of choosing whether I want to watch it happen.

15600+ words

Get it here

Wednesday, 6 November 2019

The house in Bukit Timah

This is a work of fiction.
All characters are fictional.

The landmarks, locations of actual sites in Singapore are used solely for storytelling purposes.
The author has no affiliation or stake in any of the cafes, restaurants, hawker stalls or landscape nursery mentioned in the story. 


Introduction     - 6/11/19  - updated
Introduction II -  15/11/19 - updated
Introduction III - 6/12/19

Adventure begins after CNY January 2020.


if you flip through my report books documenting my progress as a student , you would see several remarks like this from my teachers.

“ Jackson needs to put in more effort “

“ Jackson needs more motivation “

“ Jackson requires the right drive to excel “

“ there is still chance for Jackson to Excel”

The teachers are just being nice.

The word they would love to use on me is lazy.

Jackson is the laziest student in class. That is a fact.

I could remember as far back as when I was in Primary two when my grandfather was called into the teacher’s office for behaviour problems.

The teacher complained that I always slept in class. She questioned if I was staying up late at home. My grandfather said no and that I go to bed on time at 9.30pm.

However he could not explain why I kept falling asleep in class.

After the meeting, he asked me why I kept doing that.

I simply told him that the class is boring.

Jackson : I already know and understand what the teacher is teaching…..

Grandpa : don’t be a smart ass…. You are not as clever as you think…

I just smiled.

I never argued with my grandfather. He is my only family and he practically raised me on his own. My grandpa had my dad when he was 18. My dad had me when he was 18. This meant my grandfather had me when he was 37.

What the fuck does this do to someone who is 37 ?

37 in this time and age, some of us have yet to become fathers.

Things could not haven been worse for my grandfather. I was an unwanted child. My dad is a sailor according to my grandfather. He met my mum, who is some sweet girl in a good school.
Their romance is something right out of a fairy tale.

Just that the fair tale does not have a happy ending.

I was an accident, it could not have been clearer than that. 1 month after my mum gave birth to me, she left me with my grandfather together with close to two thousand dollars and a weeks worth of baby supplies.

That was it.

My grandfather told me when I was older that she needed to go overseas to continue her education. A bright future awaits her and there was no room for a child in her life.

So at 37, my grandfather is saddled with a newborn, with hardly any idea of how to care for a child and make a living at the same time, he struggled. He really did.

There were few pictures of me when I was a child, even fewer of my grandfather. We simply could not afford pictures. My grandpa did odd jobs and together with the help of neighbours, we fumbled along and the next thing I realised, I was already in primary school with teachers scolding me for being lazy.

It’s true, I am lazy but I’m not stupid.

I just want to find the most efficient way to something with minimal effort.

It’s as simple as that.

It is exactly a mentality like this that got my grandfather an invite for another visit to the school when I was in primary 3.

I was already in the office when he came and I felt bad seeing my grandpa in his dirty work shirt having rushed over from the factory.

My form teacher laid out all my examination papers.

No, I did not get zero.

I got exactly 50 for all my papers except composition.

Wait a minute you say, 50 is a passing grade right ?

You’re right.

Low grades or the lack there of was not the reason my grandfather was invited down to the school.

I got 50 marks because I counted exacted 50 marks and only answered the questions that gave me 50 marks.

Why  ?

That was the mark to pass isn’t it ?

Of course, an attitude like this did not sit well with the adults.

I don’t see anything wrong with this.

Let me explain why.

The whole idea of examination is to make sure you comprehend the subject, and you are able to effectively apply the concepts learned.
You will then be graded.

50 is a pass.

50 means you are ok.

Why then do I have to answer all the questions ?

What did I do with the rest of the time during the examination you ask ?

Sleep of course. What else is more important than sleep.

After the lecture by the form teacher, my grandfather asked me why did I do something like that .

Grandpa : studying is good for you… it’s the path to a better future… do you want to end up like ah gong ? …. Doing odd jobs…. Earning so little money…. With nobody to love….. ??!!

I hugged my grandfather and he stopped talking.

Jackson : I love you ah gong…. With all my heart….  I love you….

My grandpa laughed as he stroked my hair.

Grandpa : ah gong will not be around forever… you must learn to be more mature… you must learn to take care of yourself….

Jackson : don’t say things like that Ah gong…. I will take care of you.. don’t worry…..

I patted my chest first and added,

Jackson : this is for my promise…..

Next I tapped my shoulders.

Jackson : this is for my responsibility….

Then I held up both fists in a mock battle stance.

Grandpa : what is that for.

I gave him a smirk look and added.

Jackson : for glory….

He threw his newspaper at me, cursing as I ran away into my room.

Grandpa : SI GINNA!!  ( Irritating kid ! )

So if you remembered your primary school days, you will need to take some special exams that some adults come up with. The answers you put down on that paper determines if you are meant for the gifted program or if you are destined to become a farmer like the rest of the population in this elitist society of ours.

Since I was tired of my teachers saying I’m stupid and lazy, I answered all the questions.

When the results came back, my teach could hardly believed his eyes.

Yeah. Jackson is not a dumbass. He is just lazy.

So what if I got good results and an offer to join the program.

It’s not for people like me.

My grandpa is hardly making ends meet.
Transferring school ? New uniforms ? School bus ? new materials ?

Fuck off .

I’m happy if I could have food on the table and spare change for a candy at the end of the week.

I continued my wayward ways with my examination papers and when I was Primary 5, my grandfather got another invitation. This time it was to the principal office.

The same scenario happened. From Math, to Science, to social studies.


I answered exactly 50 marks worth of questions.

I got a 95 for composition though.

Again, the same lecture only this time round, the principal put the fear of PSLE into my grandfather’s head.

PSLE I tell you, it’s just an exam but to a illiterate old man charged with raising his grandson, PSLE sounded like stage 4 terminal cancer.

I shit you not.

My grandfather was worried as hell. He took on extra shifts and wanted to get me a tuition teacher. I refused.
I insisted that he stop the extra shifts or I would stop going to school.

He was at his wits end until I sat him down and told him don’t worry.

Jackson : ah gong…. Look at me…. I give you my word…. There’s no way I will mess the PSLE up… ok ??

He relented eventually.

I scraped through Primary 5 and when the faithful day comes for the dreaded PSLE, I answered all the questions.

Yes I know, there’s the bell curve, the averaging and shit but I don’t care.

I just didn’t want my grandpa to worry.

Grandpa : did you fill in all the blanks ? did you answer all the questions ??

Jackson : yes ah gong… yes… I did… don’t worry… hahaha

To celebrate the end of the last paper, my grandfather brought me out to parkway parade. Wywy wonderland, that place is magical.

Grandpa wanted to change $5 worth of tokens for me to enjoy myself but I said just $2 is enough.

Jackson : It’s not easy to make money….

My grandpa smiled and ruffled my hair before pulling my body against his.

Grandpa : If only your father is half as good as you…. If only…

When my results came back, I had 280 out of a score or 300.

My score was only 3 points short of the national record then.

Within days, letters of offers came from schools that the sons of ministers and businessmen go to. Expensive schools.

Ok expensive aside, schools that are far away.

Schools that need to take long bus ride.

Why the fuck would I want to go to a school so far away, when there’s a secondary school just a fucking 5 minutes walk away ?

I don’t care about schools and grades.

At 12, I only want what’s convenient.

And I know saving 4 years of bus fare travelling to and from school would save my grandfather a lot of money.

And so that it. The nearest school, for the laziest kid.

It did not take long for the teachers in my new school to realise what I was up to.

It was a big issue. I’m talking detention, counselling, more invitation for my grandfather.

By then my grandfather had sort of zoned out of the lectures by the teachers and principals. He just nodded and smile, says that he will keep a closer watch on me.

At secondary two, I had a particularly nasty form teacher.

He has a poisonous tongue and he spits words that cuts deep into your skin.

Now, given how thick skin I am with my don’t give a fuck attitude, I was immune to what he says until during a parent meeting session he insulted my grandfather.

That was when I snapped.

Teacher: aiyah…. This kind of kid… from broken family… raised by odd job labourer… sure no future one la….. I’m sure the grandpa outside also lazy lazy kind…..that’s why the grandson follows in his footstep…. Whole family no future and hope one…. … he’s going to fail all the way till his ‘O’ levels….

He was saying it to another teacher but we were well within earshot and he knows it.

I could see it hurt my grandpa and something snapped in me.

I blocked his way and demanded an apology.

Jackson : my grandfather raised me single handedly….!!! He did more for me than anyone ever has….. who the fuck are you to say things like this about him ??

Teacher : what did you just say !!! ?

I repeated my words as my grandpa dragged me away, apologising for my behaviour.

Jackson : fuck you !!

Okay, okay, you don’t need to be a genius to know what the consequences are for a student to give the ‘f’ word to his teacher.

1 stroke of the cane was melted out but oh boy, that’s not all.

That’s not all.

I waited till all the papers were over for the end of the year examinations.

And during one busy recess period where everyone is enjoying their food, I walked right over to my form teacher who was happily chatting with a full plate of food in front of him.

I lifted his plate and smashed it onto his head.

The screams and cheers that erupted etched itself into my head.

Jackson : that’s for insulting my grandfather….now…. watch me fail all my paper….

I walked away as bodies parted for me. My form teacher shouted at me and in a slip of his tongue , mouth obscenities in the middle of the canteen, causing the cheers and jeers to go up a notch.

Other teachers tried to calm him down but the damage was done.

A teacher reciting a string of expletives in front of the whole school ?

Good luck to him.

And as for that dumb act of mine, another 3 strokes of the cane, in public this time, on the fucking stage.

I took all 3 strokes and endured a 15 minutes of shaming and scolding in front of the whole school.

It didn’t bother me at all.

I don’t care.

After the discipline master was done scolding me, I was made to remain on stage for the rest of the speech and prize giving day.

I smiled at the next teacher coming up on stage.
She’s that motherly teacher that you wished is your form teacher. If there can ever be a standard mould for moulding a mould that moulds the future of our nation, Mrs Koh should be that mould.

She’s soft spoken, always polite and all the students respect her.

Respect is something you earn.

I’m not talking just about the studious group of kids, even the most badass gangster in the school bows and speaks properly to Mrs Koh. Students will go out of their way to help her with the books or files she is carrying.

That’s the amount of sway she holds in school .

Mrs Koh started the ceremony by announcing the top student for our cohort that year in each subject.

I saw her shot me a look and it was a particularly awkward moment for the teachers.

Mrs Koh : 1st….. in English….. Jackson…

I did not have to get up from the floor to go up the stage.

I did not have to walk pass rows of students to get on the stage.

I did not have to walk pass teachers sitting at the side of the hall to get to the stage.

I am already on the fucking stage.

The thunderous applauses I got was the small act of defiance my classmates could show. Nobody liked our form teacher and he was nowhere to be seen.

Whistles and cheers rang out as Mrs Koh continued.

Mrs Koh : 1st in…. Literature…. Jackson….

It didn’t stop.

It never stopped.

History, geography, science, Chinese, higher Chinese.

Every fucking subject there is, I aced it. It’ not that I’m smart, it’s just that the bar is low. Half the school is not studying, we’re at the age where we just want to have fun.

From that day on, no one bothered me again. Ever.

Even in secondary three, I did exactly what I used to for my exams.

50 points.

No more, no less.

50 points.

I was marked of course.
Marked and labelled.

Jackson, the problem child. Leave him the fuck alone to his own demise.
Someone probably has a note like this somewhere on my name.

Not only did teachers left me alone, even the school drop outs hanging around with their so call gang members gave me a wide berth. They raised their cigarettes and nod at me as I walked past the void decks where they hung out in droves.

What about the girls ? Of course I got the girls.

Girls like bad boys, they always do.

I have girls lined up stabbing each other in the back to be my girlfriend.

I’m not a robot, I’m a growing kid. I am not immune to growing breast and shapely legs. Especially not when the girls chose to wear fancy cross back bras or those in bright pastel colours while tucking in their white blouse so tight, I wonder if they deliberately bought it a size smaller.

I’ve touched enough breast and kissed all the hottest girls from those in the 1st express class to the Ah lian in the last class.

Upper secondary is definitely an enjoyable period for me. My grandpa finally got promoted to a full time staff in a supervisory position after so many years of doing odd jobs at the factory.

It seems by taking on all the shit that no one wanted to do, my grandpa eventually because the only person to know what is going on.

The factory owner’s son saw the effort my grandfather had put in over the years and the first thing he did after taking over the reins was to give him the position and pay he deserved.

$2900 excluding bonus.

That is a lot of money for my grandpa after having worked and survive on less than 1k for so many years.

Things were finally starting to look good for the 2 of us.

I got Mrs Koh as my form teacher in secondary 4. She knew what I was up to and the only thing she said to me was not to hesitate to ask her anything, if I need to. She left me alone when I slept in class but she would always do one thing the other teachers never did.

She would wake me up after her period was over, asks me a few questions to make sure I understand the essence of that chapter or what shew as trying to teach. If I got it right, she would nod her head.

There are times I got it wrong though and she would smile, before retracting it and throwing me 3 hours of after school detention for me to revise.

I enjoyed her class and I enjoyed my last year in that school. I love it.
The school, the girls and their fancy bras and their sweet smelling hair.

O levels came and well, there’s not something you want to fuck it up. So I did it properly.
Straight As and this time round, invitation letters to some of the best junior colleges in the country.

My grandfather was doing a lot better now as a supervisor and if I wanted, I could go to a JC and then on to university but I didn’t.

I did not want to.

At 16, all I wanted was for my grandfather to rest more while I take up the burden of supporting us. I started work part time after school ended at a landscaping company.

I went the polytechnic route and I worked whenever I had no classes at the same landscaping company. The extra income I brought home, I gave half to my grandfather and the other half was my own allowance.

I love landscaping and plants.

The plants don’t complain, they don’t bitch about people. You can’t have office politics with plants. It was my kind of work. I love getting my hands dirty too and I’m not afraid to say I have green fingers.

Plants thrive under my watch.

You might have bought something from me too if you frequent the landscaping companies located in Kovan just beside the carpark.

I know the plant species well and during Chinese new year, my salesmanship and my business acumen always put the widest smile on my boss’s face.


I sell them, I plant them, I nurture them.

I fucking love them.

Selling plants is considered boring on many fronts, it’s one of the most uninteresting jobs ever.

However, my life was about to change because of my love for plants.

I just did not know it yet.

My love for plants would eventually lead me to a house.

A house where the chapters for the rest of my life would be written.


I started with the basics of course at the nursery, mostly manual labour. The foreign workers at the company thought it was weird a kid like me would want to work in such a place.

I did exactly the same things they did. Unloading pots of palms and flowering shrub off trucks under the hot sun.

It felt good working up a sweat. After the unloading, it’s pretty much free time for me since customers don’t come in droves unless it’s around the festivities.

I would wander around the large garden, do a bit of pruning, some rearrangements, sometimes I would just sit and enjoy the shade and smell of the freshly watered plants.

Daisies, roses, sunflowers, palms, frangipanis, bamboo, being surrounded by them on almost a daily basis made me feel as if I’m working in a different country, a different place.

A far cry from the concrete city we live in.

When it comes to selling, it’s simple. Prices were clearly labelled but I was given the liberty to give a bit of discount.

Everyone loves discount.

From $6 pots of mint to a $68 dollar large shrub of rosemary, I can sell anything. I could bullshit about how bamboo would fit into a rich man’s garden and how having a water feature would help keep his mistress from straying.

I even sold a Japanese pagoda to a English man who left his wife and married his Chinese colleague.

I shit you not, I sold Venus flytrap and pitcher plant to the boss of a pest control company.
He says no way my plants is more effective that his chemicals in controlling pest population.

I gave him my honest reply.

Jackson : of course la boss… your one is weapon of mass destruction ley… insects sure die en mass..…. My plants… for national geographic documentary one….conversation starters…...i ask you I ask you…. You single right…. You single….

Boss of pest company : what has that got to do with this…. ??

I noticed he is without a wedding ring but what really gave him away was I overheard him on his phone earlier asking his friend to hook him up with another girl for a date.

High chance single eligible male.

Jackson : imagine you trying to strike a conversation with a girl about your work….which one is a better conversation started…. Bottles of chemicals…. Or these….

I pointed to the 2 pot of carnivorous plants.

Jackson : Natural…. Organic pest control….the inspiration behind the values you founded your company on….. Striking a necessary balance…

I stopped talking and wait for my bullshit to sink in.

Boss of pest company : that is absolute bullshit bro…….

There was a 2 second pause as he looked at the plants.

Boss of pest company : …………….. but i’ll take it…

Jackson : thank you boss….

I would give the occasional bags of fertilisers if I like the customers, sometimes I threw in a free pot. If I see kids running around, I might pass them a marble or two while their parents browse my wares.

I knew the other bosses and employees along the entire stretch of nursery.

Some of them gingerly commented that their kids don’t even want to come down and help out, choosing to settle for work in an airconditioned office.

Well, it’s their lose.

I come to work in shorts, singlet and flip flops most of the time. There’s really not a lot of work out that that can go with my choice of attire.

My grandfather told me manual labour and gardening don’t pay. I know that, but it’s something that I enjoy doing.

Grandpa : Singapore is not a place you get to make a living doing things you enjoy…….

Jackson : but if I don’t try….i’ll never know right… ? hahah

Grandpa : hahaha…. True.. true… ah gong don’t have much for you but I can guarantee you a roof over your head…the rest… you got to figure it out….

Jackson  : That is more than enough for me….

My classmates thought my choice of part time work is weird too.
I don’t blame them.

I did a business course in polytechnic and my friends were saying if I loved plants that much, I should have gone and do something related.

Botany or something, landscaping, built environment.
I told the girls I wanted to start my own business and manage my own empire in the future. Shit like that sounds good to girls.

I was a little more candid with the guys.

I went to the business course for the girls. I hooked up with my first girlfriend in polytechnic within the 1st month.
At the end of the 1st year, I pretty much went though all the girls that looks above average that any guy would want to bed as long as you are not gay.

This pretty much meant I was labelled as a jerk by the end of the 1st year.

Well the truth is I don’t want to be too specialised in something. Dreams may be dreams but I’m well aware of the need to pay my bills and to take care of my grandfather.

I went through the list of courses available, not interested in engineering, not IT, not really into design. Business is pretty broad base, covers a wide range of subjects and it allows me more options when it comes to looking for a proper job after graduation.

I continued working part time for the landscape company until I graduated and when it’s time for me to enlist in the army. My boss wanted to go back and help whenever I can and I agreed.

Weekends after I book out, I would pop by for a few hours, make some extra dough, then head back to spend time with my grandfather.

The longer I worked at that landscape place, the more convinced I was that I wanted to go into it full time.

Not as an employee.

I wanted to be my own boss.

I told myself that every hour I put into the part time work then was me getting my experience level up.

One day, when I’m ready, I will take the plunge.

One day.

First, I need to get my national service out of the way first.

Now when it comes to the military, I have it all figure out. It’s really simple actually so for those who has yet to serve, take it from the old bird here.

Just stay low profile and invisible.

Really invisible.

No, I can’t do the minimum in the army, you’re going to get marked for death literally.

I can’t go all out thumping my chest, people will roll their eyes at you.

Stay in the middle of the bell curve.

Average brother, average.

Don’t be the first, don’t be the last. Stay in the middle and keep your mouth shut.

I ran at a comfortable pace, I did what I was told, and I kept my head down and smile. 2.5 years will pass in a breeze.
When it’s time for the acting session for everyone to demonstrate who has leadership qualities, I had to stop myself from laughing at some of the antics my fellow army mates were displaying.

Almost everyone wanted to be a commander, it was drama at it’s best.

Boys in the middle of transition to men or so they say are expected to roleplay and within that few hours, someone will determine if you are meant to be a leader.

When it was my turn to cross an obstacle as the commander, I did not even hesitate. I immediately asked for suggestions and I took the one that made most sense and needed least effort.

Least effort is the key. I didn’t even want to think of a solution on my own.

Jackson : that is an excellent idea brother…. We shall do that… hahahah…. You’re in charge…. Let’s do it.. come on !!...

After the whole situational test is over, I was pulled aside by the officer who was evaluating us.

Officer : Recruit Jackson…. Why…

Jackson  :why what Sir…. ?

Officer : While everyone is trying to demonstrate what they can do….….. I see you spending the time trying hide from others what you are capable off…..leadership…. cannot be taught… it’s either in you or it’s not….. some people struggle with it their whole lives…..   

Jackson  : I just want my 2.5 years to pass…… I don’t want the responsibilities of having to take care of others….. and… I’m pretty sure I didn’t demonstrate any leadership qualities….

Officer : No you didn’t demonstrated any…….you merely put in the extra effort to hide any that you might have………

I was a little taken aback by that statement as he walked away with a smile.

Officer : …….what a waste….what a waste… haha…

Keeping to myself worked out pretty well for me for the first couple of months until something happened.

A man paid me a visit once day.

It was out of the blue, I was pulled out of my bunk and told to report to the office for some administration matter.

A man named Owen introduced himself to me.

Owen : Hi Jackson…. My name is Owen…. And I have a proposition for you….

Jackson  : huh ? … why me….

Owen : We’ve been keeping an eye on you for a while….. since back when you were in school in fact…. You’re athletic….you’re fast… you can talk….and of course…. You topped your cohort in terms of results…… you are smart…. And you are low profile….. You’re raised by your grandfather…..I could go on…and on….

I said nothing and I just looked at that man.

He’s not in uniform, he came empty handed.

There were no other officers or staff in the office, just the 2 of us.

He’s waiting for me to talk, to ask him what he wanted but I’m not doing it.

Why should I ask when it was him who came to make me an offer.

We stared at each other for close to a full minute before Owen smiled and nodded his head.

Owen : We have…. An offer for you …. A career…. Like no other….

Jackson : err…. I’m not interested in signing on with the army….

Owen laughed.

Owen : I’m not with the army…..

Jackson : then where ?

Owen smiled and just raised his eyebrow.

Jackson  : ermm… Navy… ? Air force… ?

He shook his head.

Owen : We…. Are a special group of people….and we do things that needs to be done…. In unconventional ways…… if necessary…

I slammed the table with my eyes wide apart and pointed excitedly at him.

Jackson  :OH!!! OH!!! OH!!!.... FUCK!!!.. James Bond shit !!! you’re doing those James Bond shit right !!!!

Owen was a little taken aback at my outburst and with my enthusiasm.

Owen : Well… not exactly….

Jackson  :No need to explain… sign me the fuck up… !!!! will I get paid… ? Do I get to drive an Aston Martin !!!! Bentley!!!…. I want a suit….. a tailored one…. What about my annual leave… bonus….. is this considered signing on ? …. Is there an official contract.. ?

Rubbing my hands eagerly I could see Owen trying to get a read on me.

Jackson  : what ?

Owen : I usually don’t get this level of enthusiasm …. From potential recruits….

Jackson  : Why not…??!!!

Owen leaned back on his chair and asked me some questions. I gave the right answer to them all.

Jackson  : I will die for my country !!!!!! I WILL!!! I swear !!! confirm plus chop!!! Anything !!! I’ll do it !!! I swear my loyalty…. My allegiance…. Anything ….!!

Owen nodded his head after talking to me for 15 minutes before saying he will consider all applicants before getting in touch.

I smiled and shook his hands eagerly, giving him a thumbs up before he went out the door.

The moment the door closed, the smiled disappeared from my face.

He came in so cock sure he had me.

He came in empty handed, he said he’s been keeping an eye on me for a while.

I assumed he has access to my academic details, my performance in the military is average at best. Someone probably tipped him off about seeing someone with potential, that’s why he came.

He wanted to see if there is an unpolished gem for him to discover.

What made him come is not my academic past, it’s the notion that I can remain unnoticed and exists as an unpolished gem in a place where most are looking to excel.

He wanted that sense of control, or in my case, my desires to remain unnoticed.

I massaged my jaws and face, the exaggerated expressions must have pulled some muscles I seldom used. I left the office and I saw Owen talking to my Platoon commander.

I waved excitedly at him and gave him 2 thumbs up eagerly.

He put on his sunglasses and left.

Well, that’s the last I’m going to see of him I think.

Money, fame, glory , James bond stuff ? Not my style.

Simple, comfortable and a happy life with my grandfather, that’s what I’m talking about.

Bringing him overseas, sightseeing, holidays. Those are what I really wanted.

My time in the military flew by and I started work at a logistics company as an operations executive.

On weekends, I would still go back to the nursery to help out, not so much for the money, but more of my interest and to reconnect with my bosses and colleagues who were so kind towards me all these years.

With a stable job, I finally did what I wanted to do ever since I was a young boy.

I can confidently say that was the proudest moment of my life.

For others, it would be owning a fancy car, a nice watch, a big house, maybe a trophy wife.

For me.

That moment came when I took a taxi with my grandfather to the airport together.

He held in his hand the first passport he ever owned in his life.

The look on his face, the expression, that anticipation and nervousness cannot be easily described with words.

My grandfather had never been on a plane, he had never been out of the country. It’s just a short 4 day trip to Bangkok, something most Singaporeans would not even bother mentioning.

To my grandfather though, it was the experience of his lifetime.

He was so excited to be on a plane, I will always remember that grin when that SQ stewardess came and asked what he would like for lunch and he smiled cheekily at me while watching her bend low to serve him his meal.

He was always laughing and taking pictures with the digital camera I gave him.
He wanted to try all the street food, we drank beer at A go go bars, we zoomed through traffic in a Tuk Tuk. At the end of every day, he would collapsed in exhaustion in the hotel only to get up at 5am in the morning.

Grandpa : Jackson !... get up…. I’m ready….

That was the first of the many trips we would take together and it was the happiest period of my life.

China, Korea, Japan, Australia, India, Taiwan, Vietnam, Cambodia.

We did them in that order. 2 trips a year, 1 short, 1 long.

Malaysia was reserved for the last because it’s right beside us. My grandfather wanted to keep it towards the end when he was no longer as mobile. We can do a self drive trip up north, maybe visit his distant cousin he kept in contact with.

We were going to do Europe next and I had the itinerary planned but something unfortunate happened.

My grandfather had an accident in the bathroom.

He fell.

He was not seriously hurt, had a minor fracture on his ribs because he hit the basin on the way down, but the xray revealed something else.

There appears to be some fluids in his lungs.

A more detailed checked revealed that my grandfather has lung cancer.

Stage 4.

I didn’t know what to say.

I don’t remember crying much as a child but I cried that evening.

Not in front of the doctor, at home, in my room.

What the fuck is this ?

Lung cancer for someone who has never smoked in his life.

My grandfather was affected by the news too and the thought of spending money on his treatment bothered him the most.

He didn’t want to waste money.

Grandpa : Ah gong old aready… don’t waste money on me….

Jackson : don’t you dare say things like this !!....

Grandpa : Jackson…..

Jackson : NO!... don’t worry about the money….. just get well… we still have so many places to visit together… !

Grandpa : Jackson …. I know you meant well..but…

Jackson : I will not have this discussion….. this is not negotiable….i have money… a lot of money….. don’t worry about it and just get well…..

We stared at each other for a while before I hugged him.

Then I broke down.

Life is so unfair.

My grandpa held onto me and he told me softly.

Grandpa : all men must die…..

Jackson : Please don’t make me beg…. I have never begged you for anything before….

I spent the night planning everything out in my head.

I know how much I can put away each month in terms of savings. I can double up my hours at the landscape company for a little more. On weekday nights, I can take up some part time shift at fast food restaurants.

My grandfather is insured but only the a very basic plan. We’ve live on bare necessities when I was young, no reason why we can’t do it again now.
It was an emotional evening and when I finally went to bed, it was close to 4am in the morning.

When I work up with a  jump at 10am, my heart was slamming against my ribcage.

I jumped out of bed.

I knew something was not right the moment I open my room door.

My grandfather is gone.

He packed some clothes, took his passport, his phone and charger and he’s gone.

I immediately tried his phone but it was off.

I dashed out of my place, running to the nearby coffee shops and places he usually hangs out.

There were no signs of him.

The neighbours he usually drinks coffee with in the morning says they never saw him. I went to his work place and was told he called in and quit.

He did not even want to collect the rest of his pay. His boss asked me what happened and I filled him in.

I went back home and tried to calm myself down.

Surely he would have left behind some clues as to where he is going.

I went to his room and started to open up every cabinet and drawer.

He left me a letter placed beneath 3 metal tins.

3 biscuit tins, clearly labelled with his own handwriting on old pieces of recycled paper.

Jackson university.

Jackson wedding

Jackson house.

Inside the tins were rolls of money. A mixture of old and new notes going as far back as the bird series.

I opened the letter and the contents broke my heart into so many pieces.

I expected a long letter, a lot of words. Stuff he wanted to say to me, things he wanted to tell me. It struck me then that my grandfather was illiterate. Aside from the very basics like his own name and mine, he hardly ever wrote anything.

It was written in broken English. The handwriting is uneven and the alignment is non-existent.

My grandpa’s vocabulary is limited but with those few words, his intent and what he wishes to communicate could not be clearer.

“ Jackson, You always in Ah gong heart. I love you .
Let me go. I don’t want to die in hospital.
I don’t want needle inside my body and rubber out of my nose when I die.
I want to be free. You are very young, you have to live your life.
I cannot be heavy luggage. I cannot be useless old man pulling you slow.
Jackson, if you wear my shoes, our place change, you will do the same. I know.
If I can choose my life again, I will still choose the same, with you together.
I have no regrets be your grandpa. I love you Jackson. “

I sank onto the floor.

Sometimes I feel like strangling that stubborn old man but what he said is true. I would have done the same if I was in his position. 

I made a police report to say that my grandfather is missing.

I kept trying his phone but it was off all the way.

2 days later I was informed that my grandfather had left the country into Malaysia the day I reported him missing.

I knew he had a distant cousin he kept in touch with occasionally in Kedah but other than that, I have no other information.

I checked his personal belongings and he brought along his atm cards.

I taught him how to withdraw money overseas during our first trip to Thailand.
That’s a good sign, bringing money and atm cards gave me some hope that he is not going to do something stupid.

I just need to follow the money trail.

There was no need for private investigators or anything dramatic.
It was a joint account with me but I don’t use it.

I had opened it for my grandfather for his savings that he wants to keep aside for travelling.

I updated the bank book and I saw withdrawals made in Ringgit. I called the bank and asked for the location.

It’s in Kedah.

Now all I need is to verify that it was my grandfather who was the one doing it and that he is safe and sound.

I rented a car and I drove all the way to Kedah, to the town of Bandar Alor Setar. It took me 9 hours and I went straight to the location of the ATM that the withdrawal was made.

I opened up a map of the area.

It’s a small town and the ATM which the withdrawal was made is at a petrol station near a Macdonald.

He withdrew 500 Ringgit, not a big amount. He’s alone in a foreign land and I don’t think that amount is going to last him for very long especially if he needed to find lodging and food.

I scouted every ATM within a 300m radius. I crossed out those that are too far out of the way from the initial ATM the withdrawal was made.

Those that are in dimly lit places, I cross them out too.

Within the immediate area, I reckon that’s only 3 that my grandpa would visit if he needed to get more cash and if he is still within that area.

Being a small town, a lone traveller especially one like my grandfather would surely stand out. He probably took a bus, then perhaps a cab. In a country where most people drive, someone walking about on foot would surely stand out.

I tried the staff at the petrol station, asking workers from both shifts and showing them photos of my grandfather. They didn’t notice him.

I know my grandpa is a creature of habit. He needs his coffee in the morning.

There are 4 coffee shops within the vicinity. 

I went to the one closest to the petrol station and waited.

It was the only thing I could do.

It took me 3 days. 3 days of living out in the car and washing myself up in public toilets before I saw my grandfather.

It was 6am in the morning and I had just washed my face at the petrol station bathroom. I was holding a soft drink in hand when I saw him.

He’s not alone.

Looking every bit the fit and strong man that raised me, my grandfather was pushing someone on a wheelchair.

The man in the wheelchair looked familiar. I cycled through the old photos on the wall in my grandfather’s room in my head and finally put a finger to that man.

It’s his cousin. He visited us a few times before many years ago.

I kept my distance and watch them go to a nearby coffee shop for breakfast.

They spent an hour there before heading back.

I tailed them and saw both of them enter a nursing home tucked away in a quiet street of residential units.  

I waited till I saw staff driving out of the nursing home and I followed the staff to the restaurant where they are buying their lunch.

I identified myself and showed pictures of my grandfather to the 2 staff who was too surprised to say anything.

They confirmed that my grandfather had checked himself in and his cousin is staying there too.

I begged for them to put me in touch with the nursing home administrator.

It was a lady in her fifties. Mrs Toh.

When we parted ways, I settled all financial matters with Mrs Toh.

If my grandfather wanted to stay there, I can’t force him to come back.

I stayed in the area for another day before my grandfather called me.

I answered immediately.

I could see him from where I stood. I had parked my car diagonally across the street from the nursing home.

Grandpa : Jackson….

Jackson  : Ah gong…. Are you ok ? … are you feeling better…. ?

Grandpa : yes.. yes I am…. I am in Malaysia….

Jackson  : why don’t you want to stay with me….?

Grandpa : You have a long journey ahead of you…. I don’t want to…. Hold you back….

Jackson : what about me… ? how about your own journey in life when a baby is thrust into your arms more than 20 years ago….why didn’t you just let me go so I won’t drag you down….

Grandpa : Si Ginna !! ( you rascal ) … ! don’t be rude to me ! ….

Jackson : You can come back and hit me if you want….

He stayed on the line but said nothing for a while.

Grandpa : Jackson……I don’t want you to worry about me….. I want you to chase your dream…. Can you do that for me…. ?

Jackson  : my dream … ?  to be a gardener …. ?

Grandpa : ahahahah… if that is what you want….do it…. Do it properly…. Be the best there is…..

I was quiet for a while before I told my grandpa that when he is ready to come home, I will be there to pick him up.

My grandpa was walking around the yard of the nursing home when he froze.

He suddenly realised my presence across the road.

He turned and our eyes met from where we stood.

I could hear the nasal voice over the phone. He sniffed and I knew he was crying. I felt the warm roll of tear fell down my cheeks as well as we acknowledge each other from that distance.

Grandpa : stop crying !... what did ah gong tell you …? !! real men don’t cry !!!

I laughed.

Jackson  : I’m not crying…. My eyes are sweating….  

He laughed too before turning his back at me. His left hand shot up and gave me a curt wave before heading back inside the nursing home.

Getting back to Singapore, I spent a few days thinking about what to do next.

I’m not doing what I really wanted to in my day job.

So I quit.

I went back to the landscape company and asked for a full time position.

My boss, Mr Keng, could not afford to pay me too much. 1200 is the max he could afford.

It’s ok. It’s a start.

I value added to the company by offering gardening and landscaping services on the side.
In that way, I can cross sell the plants and my services.

Mr Keng did not take a cut off my gardening and landscaping services, he knew it was something I enjoyed doing, besides, I’m helping him move his plants sales with every new job.

I used my savings and bought a cheap weekend car, it was for my drive u to Kedah. It was cheaper than renting. Sometimes when needed, I used it for work too. The boot held all my gardening tools.

It took about a year or so before I started to make a name for myself in the market. The young and hot gardener they say.

Somehow most of my clients are wives of rich businessmen.

They were upfront when I arrived at their place.

“ If weather is too hot….. need to shower…. Or wash up…. Come in for a drink ok…?  Singapore weather so hot… “

The hint could not be more obvious.

I did not get paid for sleeping with the rich men’s wives, I get paid to keep my mouth shut.
The first was a hot milf in her mid thirties watching me toil half naked in her garden while she leaned against the patio and eating a banana with a grin.

Jackson : Ok mdm, it’s done…. Don’t step on the carpet grass for 2 weeks…. And I will come back to check on the frangipani….. leave the support there for a while….

I told her that while holding a dirty spade in my right and muddy gloves on my left, all the while my sweat was dripping down my head and onto my half naked body.

I pointed to the patch of grass that is right beside the swimming pool to remind her to keep that area clear from the swimming pool water if possible. The chlorine might wreck havoc on the new plants.

Jackson  : don’t get that spot wet….

I never expect her to throw the banana peel on the patio as she dragged me into her house by my arms.

Hot milf : It’s already wet….

I didn’t expect that to happen honestly. It was an accident but somehow news got around.

A discreet gardener that is guaranteed to satisfy your needs.

There must be some rich wives club I’m not aware off but I’m not complaining.

Out of 10 jobs, at least 1 would end with added services.

I used to think men are the sick ones, that we have fetishes and desires that are too dark to be shared.

It seems that the women held their own court too, it’s just that they are more discreet about it.

In the pool, on the dining table, on the staircases, their private home gym while balancing on a gym ball.

The weirdest one ever was having her 2 helpers do housework right in front of us while I fucked her brains out standing doggy at the grand piano.

I asked her won’t she get into trouble if the helpers tell on her.

She told me the helpers told her that her husband does the same thing with whores in their house, no reason why she can’t do the same.

Rich people and their weird world, something I would never understand.

The helper even brought me a towel to shower after I was doing fucking her boss.

I work 6 days a week, and on the last weekend of the month, I would make the 9 hour drive up to Kedah to visit my grandpa.

He’s generally ok, you can’t tell he’s ill from the surface. He isn’t getting any particularly bad symptoms as well. He looked totally normal. I wanted him to come back for a checkup just to see his condition but he refused.

He didn’t want to know, besides, he’s enjoying himself.

The slow pace of life, the gardening. Walking and helping with a bit of cooking in the nursing home.

It kept him busy and active.

He asked if I was happy doing what I did and I told him yes.

Jackson : working and creating gardens in homes that I would never be able to afford in my life….. it’s my dream man…

Grandpa : hahahah

I didn’t see the need to tell him about my extra activities of providing pleasures to unsatisfied wives.

Now, at the back of my head, I knew it was a matter of time before some angry husband realises the gardener is fucking his wife. I’ll probably get punched or have someone create a ruckus at the nursery, there is nothing much I can do but prepare myself mentally for that day.

I wanted to stop but it was quite hard to because when the clients came, they came with recommendation.

“ Mrs Fong recommended you, I hear you are a hard worker “

“ Mrs Theresa says you gave her garden a good trim “

“ Stefanie told me you made her scream in joy with your handiwork “

“ You come highly recommended by Mrs Koh…she told me you ploughed her garden up real good…. Something her husband never did “

I did not want to sink too deep into this mess so I made a deliberate attempt to taper down my extra services and I rejected a few recommendations, but some are just too hot to resist.

That day that I’m afraid of finally came. I knew I was in trouble the moment I saw the vehicles.

It was a Monday morning in December of 2014.

15th December 2014.


I was checking off a list of plants I needed to do up a small garden when I saw 3 cars pulled up in front of the nursery.

They did not park, they stopped and a dozen men got out. The cars drove off, leaving the men at the entrance.

Jackson : oh fuck…

At the back of my head, I knew they were here for me.

I tried to remember who was my last client that had extras and remembered it was a 29 year old mistress of a developer who was neglecting her.

She came out to the garden in sports bra and her panty. I shit you not, a cotton panty. Then she offered to help me when she was just trying to reveal more of her body to me.

My snapping point was when she straddled my spade and held it up like she was riding a broom stick.

29 year old mistress  : do you like Harry Potter….? This is me riding Nimbus 2000…..hur hur….

She yanked at my spade a few times and asked she wondered if Jackson would make a better ride than her Nimbus.

We fucked for 2 hours straight and she was trying to cover her mouth with her hand as we plastered our bodies against the full height windows overlooking an expressway.

She wanted to keep in contact but I told her I will be done with the garden in a couple of hours. I would prefer for the project to end if you get my drift.

The men were talking loudly up front.

This is it, I’m so dead.

I slowly backed away to the yard behind the nursery.

I can climb out through an opening at the back. Maybe I’ll drive straight to my grandpa’s nursing home and lay low for a couple of weeks.

Mr Keng : Jackson !!! JACKSON!!! …

Jackson : huh…. Yes… yes…

Mr Keng :  come… come !!! hahaha… come !!! there are people I want to introduce to you….

Keng literally held my arm as he dragged me behind him. He was never this eager before.

I reluctantly followed my boss into the office. I was trying to think of an appropriate excuse but my mind could not work fast enough.

The men in the office all turned and looked at me.  

I could tell the 3 up front are the ones in charge, the rest hanging around the back are the henchmen.

There’s a bald guy with huge eyes glaring at me.

His head is not straight but slightly angled to his right. He was in berms and t-shirt and he’s wearing an expensive pair of sneakers.

There are multiple visible scars on both his legs.

He was the one closet to me. He came closer and eyeballed me. I looked at him and gave an uncomfortable smile. He’s looking at me as if he was short sighted and forgot his glasses.

Declan :  Seven …. Back off ….

Seven, that bald guy is called seven ? “

It suddenly struck me why he was called Seven.

He looked like the guy who acted as ‘ghost leg seven’ in the classic Huang Fei Hong show. The guy who’s good with his legs.

Declan : Hi Jackson….. My name is Declan…. My friend Keng….says you are a good gardener…..

I looked at my boss who was wiping perspiration from his face.

His expression and body language did not tally with Declan’s claims that they are friends. He’s looked nervous as fuck.

Declan is probably the oldest in the room. I would put him to be at least early to mid sixties. He’s fit, well dressed. He was in pants, shirt and a chic black vest.
His moustache gave him an air of authority and he looked like some old Marshal in a Chinese civil war movie.

Jackson : err… hi…. What can I do for you…. ?


I jumped when he shouted almost point blank into my face.

What the fuck is his problem.

Declan : Hong…… Hong…. can you…. Lower your voice…. You’ve going to make me deaf….


Hong looked like someone who skipped legs days even though he visits the gym regularly. He’s big, broad shoulders and arms, his blonde hair is dry and messy, gives off a vide that he belongs in another era.

He wore a black top with the words ‘ I tea dance at Sparks’

His eyes is small compared to Seven but his presence nevertheless is felt not only visually, my eardrums are on the verge of being damaged.

Declan : Jackson … I apologise for my…..

He was waving his hands in the air trying to search for a word to use for the group of men around him.

Jackson : colleagues….

Declan snapped his fingers and lit up with a smile.

Declan : yes… yes… colleagues…  you see… erm….. my…. My…… my…..

He looked around him and I could see him trying to think of something.

He had the word but he didn’t want to use it.

I looked at the gathering of men inside my boss’s office.

These guys are thugs.

Definitely gang affiliated. Keng looked like he was on the verge of shitting himself. I saw him shoo the other workers away when they were approaching the office.

He even waved for his wife to go away when she came back with coffee from the nearby hawker centre.

I looked at the needle marks on one guy’s arms and he rolled down his sleeve as he blew his nose onto the floor of Keng’s office.

I swallowed a gulp of saliva.

I don’t remember fucking the wife of a gang leader or triad.

Declan  : I can’t think of a nice word….. to describe…. Ermm…

I looked at Declan and offered one.

Jackson : organisation….

Declan snapped his finger at me excitedly.

Declan : yes… yes…. Organisation !!!... hahah… organisation…. You are brilliant…hahaha….

He told me that they needed someone to maintain and build a new garden for their employer. They have went through a few but none have made the mark and their employer is very disappointed.

Declan : When my employer is disappointed….. she gets angry…. When she gets angry…. We… as employees…. Suffer…. You know what I mean…. ?? we have heard very good reviews about your work…. And we like the fact that you operate as a one man outfit….

Jackson  :errr… ok….

Declan : because you see… my employer… takes security very seriously….and the lesser ….. err….. strangers we let in…. the better it is for all of us….

Jackson  : errrr… I see…. Ok….can I know… what is unsatisfactory…. About your past gardeners….


Declan : Hong please… my ears….., please wait outside with the rest of your men….. Seven can stay….

Turning to me, Declan added at Seven can’t speak, so there’s no risk of him damaging our eardrums.

Hong did a weird chomping motion with his jaw at me as he gestured with his men to head outside.

Declan : well… the past gardeners we got…. They have a bit of a checkered past… you know… they stole stuff… they don’t really perform and the garden is in terrible shape….and we have such a nice piece of land……it’s a very big property of course….a lot of potential…

I looked at my boss and his eyes were literally pleading for me to say yes. It was not hard to put two and two together. He owes them something, probably money.

There is that guilty look on his face, as if he was ashamed that he had to use me to get out of this fix.

Jackson  : ok sure… I mean… if you…. Can give me some pictures…. Drawings…. I can work out a proposal…. And send you a quotation…. ?

Declan leaned back on the chair and looked at Keng.

Declan : You didn’t tell him… ?

Keng : I… I was going to….i didn’t expect you to come first thing this morning….

Jackson  : tell me what ?

Declan : that you are going to be my full time employee…..

Jackson  :what ?

I turned to my boss who was at a lost for words.

Jackson  : I… I can’t… I love my work here, besides, I can’t just….

Seven  : arGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! aRGHH!!!! ARGHHH!!!

I jumped again as I watched Seven flew into a rage. He went to this large tree trunk that was reserved for another client. He started kicking it with his legs.

His rapid and continuous kicks reinforced the rationale behind his name.

He kicked it so hard that the bark chips off and I could see the sturdy timber being damaged. He just kept stomping on it aggressively with both legs as I sucked in a deep breath and back myself closer to Keng.

Declan : Seven… please stop !!.... oh god…. I swear… one day I would get a heart attack….  sigh….. I apologise….. I apologise……. He has anger management issues…

Seven stopped kicking and shouting as he stormed out of the office 3 seconds before the whole trunk toppled onto the floor.

Keng : I’m sorry Jackson…. I wanted to talk to you about it tonight…. i… I didn’t expect….

Declan : it’s fine… it’s fine…. It’s fine…. Keng….

Declan tapped his own chest and said he will do it.

Declan : Jackson…. I want you to understand that….this is no different from what you are already doing…. We really need a good gardener…..we will pay you…. Reasonably well…. Give you the creative freedom to design….don’t worry… we’re not gangsters…. Or anything… you are free to leave if you don’t like the job….

Jackson : oh….ok..

Declan : don’t mind my colleagues… they are actually very nice people once you get to know them….

We heard some shouting outside and I turned to see Hong jumping in the middle of the nursery.


I saw Hong head butt a hanging orchid, shattering the pot and spilling charcoal all over the floor as his men clapped. His head was bleeding a little but he was still laughing.

There was another smash as Seven leapt up and swipe 2 pots with a spinning kick.

Turning back to Declan, he continued to appeal sincerely to me.

Declan : I am certain you would enjoy yourself with us…. And I am proud to say we have zero attrition rates for the past few years….

Jackson  : what about the…. Gardeners… who ermm.. didn’t quite make the mark… ?

Declan: oh them… they were redeployed… into other roles more suited to their areas of expertise….

Jackson : I see….

The door to the office open and a Indian man spoke directly to Declan in Hokkien dialect.

Kamal : Declan !!!. EH SAI BO ? WU DAI JI BO ?  ( Declan, is everything ok ? is there a situation ? )

He was skinny but tall. He had large eyes like that of a praying mantis, I say that because it looked like they were about to pop out of it’s sockets. He wore construction boots, and he had a measuring tape on his waist.

Kamal : dee ji kor is Jackson ?? ( Who is Jackson ? ) why so long !!

Declan : everything is fine… thank you Kamal…. And please… get Hong and Seven out before they destroy the place….

I watch as Kamal head out, a string of Hokkien expletives left his mouth as his middle fingered and shove his friends out of the nursery as they traded curses n broad daylight.

Declan turned back to me and in a very serious tone, continued to sell his organisation.

Declan : so….what do you think…

I looked at Keng before turning to Declan.

Jackson : I… ermm… do I get to think about it… before I reply…. ?

Declan press his lips together before nodding his head. 

Declan : of course… of course….. can I leave the contact of either of my 3 associates earlier… they will follow up with you regarding your decision…. And please….. let them know why if you are not interested in taking up the job…… they need to let our employer know…..Which one do you think you can click better with….….. Hong…. Seven …….or Kamal….

You got to be shitting me.

I don’t even want to go near those crazy fuckers.

Jackson  : how about I get back to you directly…. ?

I said with a smile.

Declan smiled too.

Declan :  well… then all you have to tell me is whether you will be starting today………. Or tomorrow….

Declan handed me a card with his name and contact number on it.

I accepted it and looked at the plain white card. It’s thick, good quality paper, textured. Declan’s name and number embossed in black with a copper outline.

I would have thought it’s from some design firm.

Well, it’s just a garden.

I’ve done so many. Even if it’s a big plot, it shouldn’t take long. I will double up my speed, finish it and get the fuck out.

Jackson : Ok…… ok…. I’ll start tomorrow……where is the property ? 

Declan :  alright !... hahah

Declan rubbed his hands in glee as he added and finally got up off the chair.

Declan : It’s a house….. A house in Bukit Timah…